The Feedback an AI Tool Can Never Give You

By Natacha Montemuino, MD  ·  3 minute read  ·  Issue #4

It's early May and the past few weeks have been in the mid-to-high 70s Fahrenheit. Perfect weather for gardening, if you ask me. The warm sun feels deeply nurturing on my skin after the treacherous Antarctic-like freeze we endured in the Northeast US this past winter.

I'm planting the last of the 50 native perennial plugs in the hell strip in front of my house. The hell strip is the narrow, often neglected strip of land between the sidewalk and the street that most people use to curb their dogs.

As I finish planting the last perennial, I notice one of the first bumblebees of the season, moving from dandelion to dandelion, searching for nectar. It reminds me that nature always communicates with us in authentic and direct ways. When it's sunny and beautiful outside, we understand that communication. When the sky turns gray and rain is imminent, we understand that too.

Human beings, on the other hand, are not always so direct. Sometimes we mask our true thoughts or emotions and offer a chosen facade instead, a version of ourselves we want others to see, often without caring if they believe it.

We've all asked someone in distress how they're doing and heard them say "I'm fine" while their body language and the tone underneath their words tell us a completely different story. This conflict between what someone says and what they actually experience is usually obvious to most of us. We see it visually and sense it energetically.

The call that morning

As I finish watering my freshly planted perennials, I think back to a call with my private coaching client that morning. My client is an accomplished corporate leader interviewing for senior roles, but she struggles with communicating authentically and sharing her stories during interviews without reading from a script.

Much of our work focuses on practicing responses to mock interview questions. We start with bullet points that form the scaffolding of a story. Then, the goal is to practice saying the story out loud multiple times a day using slightly different words each time. That's how bullet points on a yellow index card become a natural-sounding story that rolls off the tongue during a high-pressure moment, like an interview.

I give her specific guidance on how to practice between our sessions, but based on her progress, I can tell she isn't completing the homework. So during our call I ask her, "How have you practiced since our last call?"

She responds, "Oh, I've been using an AI tool I found online that gives me feedback on my answers and my body language."

The mechanism

Here's the problem with that shortcut.

I'll be honest about the limits of my knowledge here. I never asked her which online tool she was using, and I can't tell you how it actually works, so everything that follows is my read as a coach on what these tools can and can't do, not a claim about that particular one.

An AI tool might capture the external picture, the words she chooses, the logic of her responses, and whether she maintains eye contact with the screen. But it has no way to read the person underneath.

And because a tool can only measure the surface, the surface is the only thing it can reward. The polished, memorized answer that sounds finished and complete is the one most likely to score highest.

What it can't do is feel the gap between the perfect story told and the true emotion underneath. I can feel that gap. So can any seasoned interviewer.

Where this leaves us

I understand wanting to make a stressful process, like interview preparation, easier.

I'm a big proponent of AI proficiency, and I believe we should all strive to understand how to use this technology effectively and ethically as it evolves. There is a real place for AI to take work off our plates and free up our time, so we can develop the leadership skills that AI can never replace, such as critical thinking, effective interpersonal communication, emotional intelligence, and empathy.

But we shouldn't use AI to avoid doing human things that feel hard, like struggling through turning a handful of bullet points scribbled on a yellow index card into a powerful story of your personal experience. The struggle is what makes the story yours. And a story that's truly yours lets the interviewer across the table feel who they might be hiring in a way that a polished script never could.

Where in your own preparation are you reaching for a shortcut that keeps you from sounding like yourself?

Reply and tell me. I read every response, and I love hearing from you.

See you in two weeks.

Dr. Natacha